during the long run
there's only one thing that I did wrong
I stayed in Mississippi a day too long
February 2, 2012
Morning hits the lake and the crest of each wave pops bright and sparkling like a flashbulb in a stadium. Lance sits on a rock on the edge of the water and tries to remember what it felt like to be that famous, to need that many people and their blinding attention all the time, everywhere he went.
It's been two years, one month and a day but it's only here, back in Chicago, that he starts admitting it wasn't ever alcohol that got him drunk.
There's no one for miles, too cold, too dark out still, nothing like the beaches in California even in the fog. It's like being sober from his life, and Lance knows he hasn't seen anything this clearly in years.
Chris has gone back up to the house, making excuses about breakfast and how no one else really uses the right amount of coffee grounds. Chris knows exactly what they're avoiding. Lance has been waiting for a while now, maybe since they went back to Florida and Chris draped himself over Lance like a blanket, maybe before that. He has to get this right.
He doesn't want to lose himself in Chris, and he doesn't want to forget about the world and his place in it and how every morning the sun comes up without bothering to consult him. He wants to feel every second of it. He wants to remember. He wants to know ten years from now that he sat out in the cold Chicago air and decided to kiss Chris before they let another lifetime slip away.
Waves crash on the rocks one after another, making the same mistake over and over again. Lance stands up and shakes off the wet February chill. This is his chance to get it right for good.
END.
Credits: For Jamie's birthday.Title/lyrics by Dylan, via Sheryl Crow.